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Let's Talk About It!

Updated: Jul 4

What Every Young Person Should Know About Dating Violence


First off, it doesn’t discriminate. It can happen to anyone. I never thought this would be part of my story… but it is. And that’s why I speak up.


When I first started dating as a teenager, I thought abuse looked like bruises and black eyes. I didn’t understand that it could also look like constant texting, jealousy disguised as “protection” or someone slowly isolating you from your family and friends.


I never imagined that someone I loved would later try to take my life.


But here’s the truth: 1 in 3 teens in the U.S. will experience physical, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner. This isn’t just an adult issue, it starts young and it’s often missed. It is a society issue, reaching epidemic levels. That’s why this conversation matters.


Unhealthy vs. Healthy: How to Spot the Difference

When you’re young, dating can feel exciting, intense and all-consuming. But sometimes, those “butterflies” come with red flags. Please do not get in the habit of collecting red flags.. all you need is ONE to go. Here are a few signs to watch for:


🚩 Warning Signs of Unhealthy or Abusive Relationships

  • Jealousy that feels flattering at first but turns into control.

  • Constant texting or tracking your location under the excuse of “worrying” about you.

  • They get angry when you spend time with friends or family.

  • They blame you for how they act. (“You made me do this.”)

  • They put you down, even as a ‘joke’ or pressure you to do things you’re not ready for.

  • They make you feel like you can’t live without them or that no one else would want you.

  • Try to control how you act, what you wear

  • Threatening to harm themselves or others if you leave or tell anyone about the abuse.


None of that is love. It’s manipulation. And it can quickly become abuse.


💛 Signs of a Healthy Relationship

  • Respect. You both listen to each other and value each other’s feelings.

  • Support. You want to see each other grow, not shrink.

  • Independence. You’re both allowed to have your own lives, friendships and hobbies.

  • Boundaries. They’re clear, they’re respected and they’re not negotiable.

  • Safety. You feel emotionally and physically safe being exactly who you are.


Why Education Is Everything

No one ever sat me down and explained this. I didn’t learn it in school. And that silence almost cost me my life. That’s why I’ve made it part of my mission to speak in schools, to help young people learn how to recognize red flags before they turn into scars....visible or invisible. Because abuse thrives in silence. But education, awareness and open conversations can save lives.


Let’s Keep the Conversation Going

If you’re a teen reading this...or a parent, teacher or coach...please know that your voice matters. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, to reach out, to say something if something feels off. Love should never hurt. And no matter how far gone it feels, there is always a way out, and there is always hope.


Resources for Help & More Info

I’ll never stop sharing this message because if it can help even one person recognize a red flag or get the courage to leave, it’s worth it.


You are worthy of love that’s kind, patient, safe and real. Never settle for less.


With hope and healing,


Melissa 💛

 
 
 

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